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Superar el pasado. Overcome the past

How to overcome past experiences and live in the present


I understand that my past is not my present. My story about how I learned to move forward in my life after a divorce even though I was in love with my ex-husband.

Hello my name is Alexandra Guilarte, and for many years I felt my life had no meaning if I was no longer with the person I loved. When I met the love of my life, the only man who I loved madly (already more than 17 years) I felt like the luckiest woman on earth! Ours, was love at first sight.


I met him at a time in my life when I felt that everything was going wrong, my relationship with my parents, my career not going anywhere and I was incredibly lonely, and he suddenly turned up in my life, he was like a light that made me see that my problems were unimportant.


I met him at a party for language teachers, although my depression would not let me see that he had noticed me, until he took my arm to dance with me. At that point, I felt that all my problems disappeared, and from that moment we began a relationship that ended in marriage in which both were very happy the first 2 years.


Passing the third year, my depression and misunderstanding caused a breach in our relationship; my past, (plagued moments of sad experiences of my childhood) I finally reached to the point that did not allow me to move forward, and enjoy my present, so I destroyed all the beautiful moments we spent together. Just after our divorce, I went into a deep depression that had been dragging for a long time.


The truth is that after the divorce, I realized that the happiest moments of my life had been with him and did not want to lose them. I begged him not to leave me, to understand me and help me, but it was too late. I felt totally destroyed and I felt that my life had come to a moment of paralysis.  At that time, I felt that I would never be happy again. Years passed, and my now ex-husband was happily married with a beautiful woman and with children; while there I was, alone and just living over and over in my mind the happy moments I lived with him.


During those years, many men were interested in me, my relationship with my parents improved and my career was beginning to bear fruit, but yet I felt empty.  I felt I did not deserve anything good that was happening to me, I just wanted to go back to those happy moments I lived with him and I did not want to let go of those moments of sweet happiness that we lived together. I did not accept that he had carried on his life without me. I rejected all the things that were presented to me, I just wanted to relive the happiness we had lived in the past ; until my doctor made me react when he diagnosed me with breast cancer, which was at an early stage.


Cancer! God! What have I done with my life? ! I’ve been regretting all my life for the things that happened in my past and my life went by in a second.  With much pain and no glory at 40 years of age, completely alone and without having achieved my greatest desires, such as having my own family, children, travel, and … doing so many other things! So many things I’ve lost, wanting to embrace a past that has brought me nothing!  What Is certain is that after my radiation treatment, I decided it was time to work on my depression with a specialist and after many chemo and many therapies now I feel completely healed, completely new! Now I understand that the past was left behind and that all those things I longed for can be achieved in my present, with new people and fresh situations, that bring me new experiences and new sensations, new flavours that are giving me my life back and are creating in me a positive interest in my future. It was tough, but I finally learned I do not want to miss a single minute of my present.

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Hypnosis South London
Social Anxiety / Professional Confidence - Public Speaking / Fear of Flying

"I'm now able to perform tasks that I thought were impossible a month ago"

I've suffered from constant anxiety for as long as I can remember, particularly from social anxiety and fear of public speaking, to the point that my office jobs were no longer manageable and I was very close to fall deeply into depression. I had very little self-confidence, despite having progressed in my career and achieved many of my professional and personal goals. However, I got to a point in which I wasn't able to progress any further due to my the constant fear of being evaluated and criticised by others, which paralysed me and stopped me from speaking up and being more visible. My day to day prior to the sessions was absolutely controlled by my anxiety and lack of confidence due to past experiences, mainly during my childhood. Having done a number of therapies before (eMDR, CBT) I was sceptical at first, but I wanted to give hypnotherapy and the BAGC6 a go. After around 13 sessions I can say that I'm in a much better place than when I started. My constant anxiety has hugely decreased, and I'm now able to perform tasks that I thought were impossible a month ago, like giving a speech in front of my colleagues without having a panic attack or simply socialising with new people at a party. My perspective on things is now different and I've gained new confidence which allows me to speak and interact with others without fear. Maria has been great in understanding my issues and creating a very tailored treatment (hypnosis, eMDR, etc) to tackle these. She's always been very determined and a firm believer in a full recovery which has been very helpful, particularly in moments when I wanted to give up. She's also giving me tools and techniques that I can use to manage emotions and to stay focused (like auto-hypnosis) and I'm using these almost on a daily basis to continue building on my confidence and resilience. As per the fear of flying, this is something that I still need to test, but I'm confident that I will have also overcome it in the same way that I've beaten my anxiety disorder. I can only be grateful to Maria for all her help and for believing in me since day 1, and totally recommend her treatment!

Thanks so much!
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